Haiku: Cactus

A Zen-like prickle
In my deserted mindscape.
New subject: Cactus!


Bend closer to look
Jumping chollo throws its spines.
!!Pincushion torso!!


Donkey cart planter
Dry old cactus in the cart
Faded, forgotten.


Alone on the porch
My cactus stands sentinel
Serene and spikey.


Playing at the beach.
Hidden beneath the iceplants.
Steps on lone cactus.

yup, that’s a true story.

South of the border.
Ashley goes with group of friends.
Cacti she will see.

I’m really bad at this topic…

Don’t eat at Speedy’s.
Some scary green stuff for lunch.
Cactus aren’t our friends.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA I’m seriously so smart and funny, aren’t I??? Beth,
Speedy’s is the name of the cafeteria here in the building where I work.
90% of the people who eat there are Hispanic so there’s always *interesting*
things there for lunch. Brain tacos on a regular basis… YUM! And there’s
this scary green stuff that I finally figured out was some kind of cactus

VERY proud of you, Beth, for not only coming up with the absolute WORST
subject ever, but also for the FABULOUS haiku to go with it. I hope your
arms muscles have recovered this morning.

Driving down the road.
In the middle of nowhere.
Lives a lone cactus.

Four small drops a year.
Water is overrated.
How do they do it?


Cactus or Jose?
Fighting with a Mexican?
They’d both kick his ass.

HAHAHAHAHA Poor Rick. (Ex-husband/brother-in-law, is you haven’t figured
that out yet.)
I was thinking the same thing you were. A mexican bit him?? What the
heck?? I think I like that version better.


WD-40, Miracle Brew

[yes, this came from a forwarded email]

I thought that you might like to know more about this well-known WD-40 product. When you read the “shower door” part, try it. It’s the first thing that has cleaned that spotty shower door. If yours is plastic, it works just as well as glass. It’s a miracle!

Then try it on your stovetop… Viola! It’s now shinier than it’s ever been. You’ll be amazed.

The product began from a search for a rust preventative solvent and degreaser to protect missile parts. WD-40 was created in 1953 by three technicians at the San Diego Rocket Chemical Company. Its name comes from the project that was to find a “Water Displacement” compound. They were successful with the Fortieth formulation, thus WD-40.

The Corvair Company bought it in bulk to protect their Atlas missile parts. The workers were so pleased with the product they began smuggling (also known as “shrinkage” or “stealing”) it out to use at home. The executives decided there might be a consumer market for it and put it in aerosol cans. The rest is history. It is a carefully guarded recipe known only to four people. One of them is the “brew master.” There are about 2.5 illion gallons of the stuff manufactured each year. It gets its distinctive smell from a fragrance that is added to the brew. Ken East (one of the original founders) says there is nothing in WD-40 that would hurt you.

Here are a few of the 1000s of uses:
~Protects silver from tarnishing
~Cleans and lubricates guitar strings
~Gets oil spots off concrete driveways
~Gives floors that ‘just-waxed’ sheen without making it slippery
~Keeps flies off cows
~Restores and cleans chalkboards
~Removes lipstick stains
~Loosens stubborn zippers
~Untangles jewelry chains
~Removes stains from stainless steel sinks
~Removes dirt and grime from the barbecue grill
~Keeps ceramic/terra cotta garden pots from oxidizing
~Removes tomato stains from clothing
~Keeps glass shower doors free of water spots
~Camouflages scratches in ceramic and marble floors
~Keeps scissors working smoothly
~Lubricates noisy door hinges on vehicles and doors in homes
~Gives a children’s play gym slide a shine for a super fast slide
~Lubricates gear shift and mower – deck lever for ease of handling on riding mowers
~Rids rocking chairs and swings of squeaky noises
~Lubricates tracks in sticking home windows and makes them easier to open
~Spraying an umbrella stem makes it easier to open and close
~Restores and cleans padded leather dashboards and vinyl bumpers
~Restores and cleans roof racks on vehicles
~Lubricates and stops squeaks in electric fans
~Lubricates wheel sprockets on tricycles, wagons and bicycles for easy handling
~Lubricates fan belts on washers and dryers and keeps them running smoothly
~Keeps rust from forming on saws and saw blades, and other tools
~Removes splattered grease on stove
~Keeps bathroom mirror from fogging
~Lubricates prosthetic limbs
~Keeps pigeons off the balcony (they hate the smell)
~Removes all traces of duct tape
~I have even heard of folks spraying it on their arms, hands, and knees to relieve arthritis pain.
~Florida’s favorite use was: cleans and removes love bugs from grills and bumpers

~The favorite use in the state of New York:
~ WD-40 protects the Statue of Liberty from the elements.
~WD-40 attracts fish. Spray a LITTLE on live bait or lures and you will be catching the big one in no time. It’s a lot cheaper than the chemical attractants that are made for just that purpose. Keep in mind though, using some chemical laced baits or lures for fishing are not allowed in some states.
~Keeps away chiggers on the kids
~Use it for fire ant bites. It takes the sting away immediately, and stops the itch.
~WD-40 is great for removing crayon from walls. Spray on the mark and wipe with a clean rag.
~Also, if you’ve discovered that your teenage daughter has washed and dried a tube of lipstick with a load of laundry, saturate the lipstick spots with WD-40 and re-wash. Presto! Lipstick is gone!
~If you sprayed WD-40 on the distributor cap, it would displace the moisture and allow the car to start. (If I knew what a distributor cap was, it might help)
~WD-40, long known for its ability to remove leftover tape smunges (sticky label tape), is also a lovely perfume and air freshener! Sprayed liberally on every hinge in the house, it leaves that distinctive clean fresh scent for up to two days!

~Seriously though, it removes black scuff marks from the kitchen floor! Use WD-40 for those nasty tar and scuff marks on flooring. It doesn’t seem to harm the finish and you won’t have to scrub nearly as hard to get them off. Just remember to open some windows if you have a lot of marks.

~Bug guts will eat away the finish on your car if not removed quickly! Use WD-40!

Word o’ the Day

Word of the Day for Tuesday April 26, 2005

matutinal muh-TOOT-n-uhl, adjective:
Relating to or occurring in the morning; early.

Get up early and wash your face in the matutinal May Day
dew; it will make your skin beautiful and your heart pure.
–Ray Murphy, “Hurray, Hurray the Month of May,” [1]Boston
Globe, April 28, 1988

We had to rehearse at an hour at which no actor or actress
has been out of bed within the memory of man; and we
sardonically congratulated one another every morning on our
rosy matutinal looks and the improvement wrought by our
early rising in our health and characters.
–George Bernard Shaw, “The Author’s Apology,” [2]Mrs.
Warren’s Profession

Harry Truman, was — like Winston Churchill — known to
take a matutinal shot of whisky. He did it after his
regular very vigorous early-morning walk.
–R. Emmett Tyrrell Jr., “Plainly presidential,” [3]The
Washington Times, January 18, 2002

Matutinal is from Late Latin matutinalis, from Latin
matutinus, “early in the morning; pertaining to the morning.”

BuzzWord: Time Toilet

Everything I do seems to come under the heading of Time Toilet….


time toilet: Any project, assignment,
meeting, etc., that takes more time than
expected — effectively flushing away
whole your day.
Nominated by Jonathan Vehar

To see the full Buzzword Compliant
Dictionary, just click here.

Forward Buzzword of the Day to your friends.
They can sign up at:

More on Hangovers

How many Advil?
Already had 9 or 12.
Headache GO AWAY!

Why am I shaking?
Am I 95 today?
Oh yah! Drank too much!

Our friend, JP. 😦 Poor bastard. Just to bring us all down!

Love the new anklet.
45 days’ house arrest.
Second DUI.

To work and then home.
How do I pick up my son?
18 months can’t drive.