Month: August 2005
Quote o’ the Day
“I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. ”
that Free Association thing
I say … and you think … ?
6. Remember me?::
I say … and you think … ?
1. Fan:: hot
2. Scum:: pond
3. Lily:: pond [ooh, two in a row]
4. Humid:: hot
5. Ghetto: black
6. Remember me?:: classmates.com
7. Polished:: composed [okay, maybe it’s seeing the two words together]
9. Squish:: jelly
Vet Trip from Hell
I just sent this to my friend. If he ever reads this blog he’s going to think I’m weird.
God, I just took both dogs to the vet. The big one [pushing 80 pounds] peed about a gallon in the back seat on the way over, and drooled down my (bare) shoulder when she wasn’t peeing. Nice. Bob had cleaned the car for me when I was gone – did all the leather, etc. Was really nice for the one trip back from the airport and the half a block toward the vet’s.
Both dogs were annoying as hell. Sissy (aka that goddamned dog) peed on the scale. SeaBass (aka Sebastian) peed on the exam table and screamed bloody murder while they drew blood. Poor old thing. At least his ears seem to be better. We now get to use a rubber feeding tube to douche his ears out every day. Along with the eye drops twice a day.
I hope someone kills me before I get that decrepit. Or I wish SeaBass would act like he wasn’t enjoying life so much. But, he is generally the happiest dog around. So much for putting him out of my misery.
Two more dead jays in the yard. That makes 8.
I’m starting to hear more crows and see more magpies now that the jays are thinning out. I don’t mind the magpies, they are interesting, but the crows are awful. I shoot at them with a BB pistol every chance I get.
Oldie But Goodie
A lobbyist, on his way home from work in Washington,
D.C., came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to
himself, “Wow, this seems worse than usual.”
He noticed a police officer walking between the
lines of stopped cars, so he rolled down his window and
asked, “Officer, what’s the hold-up?”
The officer replied, “The President is depressed, so
he stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse
himself with gasoline and set himself on fire. He
says no one believes his stories about why we went to war
in Iraq, or the connection between Saddam and
al-Qaeda, or that his tax cuts will help anyone
except his wealthy friends. So we’re taking up a collection
The lobbyist asks, “How much have you got so far?”
The officer replies, “About 14 gallons, but a lot of
folks are still siphoning.”
Do I like the new Henry kitty?
Bush is my shepherd; I dwell in want.
He maketh logs to be cut down in national forests.
He leadeth trucks into the still wilderness.
He restoreth my fears.
He leadeth me in the paths of international disgrace for his ego’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of pollution and war, I will find no exit, for thou art in office.
Thy tax cuts for the rich and thy media control, they discomfort me.
Thou preparest an agenda of deception in the presence of thy religion.
Thou anointest my head with foreign oil.
My health insurance runneth out.
Surely megalomania and false patriotism shall follow me all the days of thy term,
And my jobless child shall dwell in my basement forever.
Packy got a new cat, and it has some BIG feet. Very cute. Looks like a Bob to me. 🙂
More Dog Haiku, Vallhund mainly
I don’t want my food
Or a walk. Mom is upset.
Nothing else matters.
That is a big dog!
If I bark fast and loudly,
He won’t see I’m small
I am so sleepy
I drag myself to my bed
To nap belly up.
I am a BIG DOG!
Who can fit in small spaces.
Listen up, you sheep!
It’s too hot to move.
How can you hike? What? FISHING!
I’m right with you, Boss.
You are sound asleep
Yet your feet twitch and nose sniffs
You woof, and run on.
A slow moving lump
At once piling and spreading
Until all find teats.
I streamline my ears,
Tuck my butt for more power,
And run like the wind!
I’m on my way now–
Didn’t hear your first three calls.
Wait, I must pee here.
A Great Re-Leaf
Mom is raking leaves.
Attack rakes! Pee on leaf bags!
We are great helpers!
Mom! Mom! Mom! Look there!
The neighbor has put up lights!
Dangerous, no doubt!
Look look, Mom! The lights
Make strange shadows on the snow–
Bark at them with us, Mom!
The sidewalk is clear,
So of course we don’t use it–
Deep snow is more fun!
Winter Night Run
Clear night. Full Moon. Cold.
Vallhunds race down the wide path–
Two ghosts with shadows
Fluffy Snow Night
Cold night and deep snow–
Two vallhunds race happily–
Fur-covered snow plows!
Once or twice a year
I shed more fur than I have
It defies physics!
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