A lobbyist, on his way home from work in Washington,
D.C., came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to
himself, “Wow, this seems worse than usual.”

He noticed a police officer walking between the
lines of stopped cars, so he rolled down his window and
asked, “Officer, what’s the hold-up?”

The officer replied, “The President is depressed, so
he stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse
himself with gasoline and set himself on fire. He
says no one believes his stories about why we went to war
in Iraq, or the connection between Saddam and
al-Qaeda, or that his tax cuts will help anyone
except his wealthy friends. So we’re taking up a collection
for him.”

The lobbyist asks, “How much have you got so far?”

The officer replies, “About 14 gallons, but a lot of
folks are still siphoning.”

Bush is my shepherd; I dwell in want.
He maketh logs to be cut down in national forests.
He leadeth trucks into the still wilderness.
He restoreth my fears.
He leadeth me in the paths of international disgrace for his ego’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of pollution and war, I will find no exit, for thou art in office.
Thy tax cuts for the rich and thy media control, they discomfort me.
Thou preparest an agenda of deception in the presence of thy religion.
Thou anointest my head with foreign oil.
My health insurance runneth out.
Surely megalomania and false patriotism shall follow me all the days of thy term,
And my jobless child shall dwell in my basement forever.