Spam Haiku

This would be the “meat” kind, not the mail kind …..

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Ears, snouts and innards
A homogeneous mass
Pass another slice
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Cube of cold pinkness
Yellow specks of porcine fat
Give me a spork please
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Old man seeks doctor
“I eat spam daily” he says,
Angioplasty
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Highly unnatural
The tortured shape of this “food”
A small pink coffin
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.

This haiku came from John’s Shrine to Spam, which apparently doesn’t exist anymore.

Mullet Haiku

Well, I’ve been trying to quit, don’t ya know, but couldn’t resist the call of the mullet. Call me a mulletard.

That reminds me, one of the blogs I’ve been reading is by a woman who calls people she doesn’t like Fucktards.

I like it. A lot!
It’s so descriptive. By golly, you never have to wonder where she stands on anything.

And now, freshly lifted from BeerChurch archives ….
It’s Mullet Haiku!
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Empty Stroh’s beer cans
Oxycontin on the brain
Wonders why no job
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Tug on the mullet
Cousin’s thumb is in my bum
Honeymoon heaven
.

mulletard (see, I stole this)

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Afternoon at home
Jerry Springer show inspires
Viewers, guests the same
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Chet
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Chet had several good ones in there, he is no doubt frittering his talent away on silly time-wasting things like mullet Haiku.
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What? Me? Shaddup.

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i have to study
but the mullet compels me
to write more haikus

david a
[this one is totally in the spirit, don’t you think?]
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Bitchin’ Camaro <——– that's me
Foghat on Blaupunkt Speakers
Cops Snatched My Sweet-Leaf

Freddy (NotFer)Proffit
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Shoot those bowling pins!
Anything for a good time
Fish with T-N-T

david
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Hair gel too costly
My mother has a mullet
Therapy? You bet!

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Mullet head poet
Bikini, lawn chair web marks
Six-pack for dinner
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katie sue
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My car cost more
Than my home on wheels
Heh, beat that, man!
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Pink Bird Freak
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Unconscious Mutterings

Unconscious Mutterings
Week 143

Here, you try ’em before you look at what I said.

I say … and you think … ?
1. Unbreakable::
2. Have mercy::
3. Do it better::
4. Settle scores::
5. Comments::
6. Craziest thing::
7. Apple::
8. Halloween::
9. Manageable::
10. Trick::

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Mine

1. Unbreakable:: heart
2. Have mercy:: on my soul
3. Do it better:: Do it faster
4. Settle scores:: even
5. Comments:: no comment
6. Craziest thing:: Sissy The Dog
7. Apple:: crisp
8. Halloween:: cold
9. Manageable:: hair
10. Trick:: or Treat, of course.
These strike me as kind of dumb today. Could just be me, however.

Who’s Next?

From TheOnion.com:
Bush To Nominate Next Person Who Walks Through Door

October 27, 2005 | Issue 41•43

WASHINGTON, DC—After Harriet Miers withdrew her nomination for the Supreme Court Thursday, President Bush announced that he will nominate the next person who walks through his door. “I assure the American people that the next person who enters my field of vision will be a highly qualified candidate of unimpeachable character, with a solid record, and—what’s more—a good heart,” Bush said. As of press time, 17 people were waiting outside the door, including the president’s daughter Jenna, and special prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald.

BuzzWord

B U Z Z W O R D O F T H E D A Y

splog: A fake blog created by spammers as a
home for their ads and scams. Of the 7,000 new blogs
started each day, nearly 10% are now splogs. (Sorry,
there’s nothing humorous about this one.)

To see the full Buzzword Compliant
Dictionary, just click here.
http://www.buzzwhack.com

About Blogging

From Dilbert’s newsletter to his loyal DNRC:

People who are trying to decide whether to create a blog or not go through a thought process much like this:

1. The world sure needs more of ME.
2. Maybe I’ll shout more often so that people nearby can experience the joy of knowing my thoughts.
3. No, wait, shouting looks too crazy.
4. I know – I’ll write down my daily thoughts and badger people to read them.
5. If only there was a description for this process that doesn’t involve the words egomaniac or unnecessary.
6. What? It’s called a blog? I’m there!

The blogger’s philosophy goes something like this:

Everything that I think about is more fascinating than the crap in your head.

The beauty of blogging, as compared to writing a book, is that no editor will be interfering with my random spelling and grammar, my complete disregard for the facts, and my wandering sentences that seem to go on and on and never end so that you feel like you need to take a breath and clear your head before you can even consider making it to the end of the sentence that probably didn’t need to be written anyhoo.

If that doesn’t inspire you to read my blog, I don’t know what will. You can find the Dilbert Blog at

http://dilbertblog.typepad.com/