Fog

Mental this time.
I just took a test. The questions are below. Sad news: It says I am suffering from serious mental confusion and/or “fog”. Nice. Good to be at the top of my game, know what I mean?
I’m guessing it’s a combination of menopause, lack of exercise, serious long term lack of sleep, and old age. There is only one of those that I can fix. Ick.

Do you sometimes not know where you are?

Do you often say one word when you mean another?

Do you sometimes have trouble completing sentences?

Do you frequently lose your train of thought?

Do you sometimes have trouble spelling familiar words?

Do you sometimes not know the name of an object?

Do you find yourself becoming more disorganized and less efficient?

Do you often spend a lot of time going through papers looking for something?

Drawers

The Englishman’s wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear. “Good God, woman! Why aren’t you wearing any knickers?” her husband demanded. “Well, you don’t give me enough housekeeping money to afford any.”
The Englishman immediately reaches into his pocket and says, “For the sake of decency, here’s 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear.”

Next, the Irishman’s wife bends over to set her ball on the tee. Her skirt also blows up to show that she is wearing no undies. “Blessed Virgin Mary, woman! You’ve no knickers. Why not?” She replies, “I can’t afford any on the money you give me.” He reaches into his pocket and says, “For the sake of decency, here’s 20. Go and buy some underwear!”

Lastly, the Scotsman’s wife bends over. The wind also takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it. “Sweet mudder of Jaysus, Aggie! Where the frig are yer drawers?” She too explains, “You dinna give me enough money ta be able ta affarrd any.” The Scotsman reaches into his pocket and says, “Well, fer the love ‘o Jaysus, ‘n the sake of decency, here’s a comb. Tidy yerself up a bit.”

Autumn Chill

So it’s November, starting to get a little chill in the air. I thought I’d bring in some wood for the stove. I’m trying not to turn on the heat, gas prices being what they are. Haven’t yet. So far, so good.

Some years back, two of the fruit trees in the side yard died. Bob brought them down and cut them up into stove-sized pieces and stacked them in the other side yard.
Years go by, no one uses the stove, the ex leaves, Bob works 90 hours a week, doesn’t need a fire, and the wood just sits there, weathering and collecting bugs. Enter Me.

Being an Aries, I like to play with fire so I’ve started using the old wood. It still burns, albeit slowly. But the last piece I picked up (and immediately threw down due to spiders) weighed so much more than it should have for its size that I can only assume that it’s petrified.

Hope it burns.
Just for the record, I have to throw ALL the pieces down as soon as I pick them up because of spiders. And unidentifiable larvae. And egg sacks. Blech.

Update: It did burn. But I’ve gotten down into the wood that still needs to be split. I’m trying to imagine the tool that one might use to split petrified wood …. Sounds like a job for Super Bob.

Talent

Every now and again people ask me why I married Bob. He’s my third try, so I have to say that a lot of thought went into it. He’s steady, goal oriented (things I’m not) and ….

He can pick soap up with his feet in the shower. Not grabbing it with his toes, just boosting it up the side and catching it on the top of his foot. I saw that, and thought, “Now THAT is the man for me!”

Yum, so Life-Like!

AND WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE CHEESE COURSE

At a wedding feast in Milan in the late fifteenth century, guests were served what seemed to be a year’s worth of food: roast calves’ heads, whole suckling pigs, sausages, hams, wild boar, whole sheep, turtledoves, partridges, pheasants, quail, and chicken. And those were just the meat courses. The pièce de résistance was a peacock. After roasting it, the cooks put the head and all the feathers back on. To make the bird seem truly lifelike was considered the height of culinary genius.

This is from my Page A Day calendar people.

Nervous

This is a good gamer comic, Penny Arcade, but I suppose if you’re a gamer you already know about it. I’m just a gamer’s mother but I think it’s hilarious and I actually *get* most of the references.

Penny Arcade

BTW, the little guy on the table with the red ball on his head is the Fruit Fucker. He’s a little juicer who goes around “raping” fruits. He’s pretty gross. Funny, but gross.