–==++ TopFive’s Current Events ++==–
Another baby may not be in the cards, but the 67-year-old
Romanian woman who became the world’s oldest mother last year
says raising her daughter has been easier than she thought.
“Even breast-feeding turned out fine,” said Adriana Iliescu.
“The hardest part is finding a private place to lift my skirt.”
(Jerry L. Embry)
From The Top 5 List www.topfive.com
Industrialist Cornelius Vanderbilt believed that spiritualists could contact the dead. One day, he decided to seek financial advice from his deceased friend Jim Fiske and asked a renowned spiritualist to organize a séance so he could talk to him. But during the proceedings, the spirit of Vanderbilt’s dead wife, Sophia, “contacted” her husband first. Vanderbilt was not as pleased as the spiritualist expected. “Business before pleasure,” he said firmly. “Let me speak to Jim.”
In our local newspaper this week:
Our previous poll asked if you believe execution of convicted murderers should be painless for the person being executed.
Number Voting: 212
Yes: 18%
No: 82%
I guess 212 isn’t a very big piece of the 60K populace, but still ….
You try it first, then look at mine 🙂
.
.
.
.
.
http://members.iinet.net.au/~pontipak/redsquare.html
This is entertaining, short term. But especially entertaining is the genitalia font in the “art work” link below the game.
Here I am, smack in the middle of my three day fun-for-all.
It’s noon, I’m still in my jammies, and I’m on cup #2 of my triple espresso. That should kick my ass right into the shower, don’t you think? Mmmm, good cracker. I drink it Egyptian style, strong and thick with that nasty sweetened condensed milk in it. Heaven on a stick. Actually, I’ve just noticed my hair is beginning to stand on end.
I’ve been off reading other peoples blogs and browsing through a little porn, just to see if it looks the same. Yup, it does.
So, Dick Cheney is briefing George Bush in the Oval Office.
“Oh and finally, sir, five Brazilian soldiers were killed in Iraq today.”
Bush goes pale, his jaw hanging open in stunned disbelief. He buries his face in his hands, muttering “My God…My God”.
“Mr. President,” says Cheney, “we lose soldiers all the time, and it’s terrible. But I’ve never seen you so upset. What’s the matter?”
Bush looks up and says “How many is a ‘Brazilian’?”
Olde But Goode
1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
2. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sensual massage.”
3. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go.”
4. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
5. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
6. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions to keep them “tuned up.”
7. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what YOU think.”
8. Practice making fax and modem noises. [I actually do this on occasion]
9. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and “cc” them to your boss.
10. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
11. Finish all your sentences with the words “in accordance with prophesy.”
12. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
13. Disassemble your pen and “accidentally” flip the ink cartridge across the room.
14. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
16. Staple papers in the middle of the page.
17. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a “croaking” noise.
18. Honk and wave to strangers.
19. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.
20. TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE.
21. type only in lowercase.
22. dont use any punctuation either
23. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
24. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: “Do you hear that?” What?” “Nevermind, it’s gone now.”
25. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
26. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce, “No, wait, I messed it up,” and repeat.
27. Ask people what gender they are.
28. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
29. Sit in your front yard point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
30. Sing along at the opera.
31. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn’t rhyme.
32. Ask your coworkers mysterious questions and scribble their answer in a notebook. Mutter something about “psychological profiles.”
Seriously, this person could be related to me. I just try not to write about these things. 🙂
Thirteen Random Things I did Today
1. Wished my sister a happy 4 day weekend. Jealously, I might add.
2. Wished my other sister would come for a visit.
3. Was late to work, but left a little early to make up for it. Thanks, Mark, for this excellent Life Management Tip.
4. Sent emails out to check references because I hate talking on the phone. I’ll probably have to do some talking with these, but … less is more.
5. Continued working on the executive summaries to the responses to my RFPs. Heinous work if you can get it.
6. Read Sharky on Computerworld.com
7. Looked at a few houses online in Palm Springs. Couple of dandies. Damn it all, I wish we were gone already.
8. Had arrythmias again
9. Listened to part of The Lincoln Lawyer by Michael Connolly on CD during my commute to and from. It’s quite good. Excellent reader, but I don’t know who it is.
10. Made Shrimp Paulista for dinner with a little couscous. The shrimp is made with lime juice, garlic, cayenne, cilantro, salt, and sauteed in a little E.V.O.O. No vampires here tonight.
11. Helped empty the dishwasher.
12. Bought some Rex 47 LB. Rooster Pinot Noir wine. It’s not bad for cheap pinot noir.
13. Made my Thursday 13. Hooray for me!
Links to other Thursday Thirteens!
1. The Purple Giraffe
2. Cheeky Lotus
3. Novelist in Training
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
View More Thursday Thirteen Participants
compu-diva.com 
You must be logged in to post a comment.