Thursday Thirteen – 13 Things I Did in Las Vegas Last Weekend

Thirteen Things I Did in Las Vegas

1. Rode the Manhattan Express Roller Coaster. It was at the top of New York, New York and was *very* dramatic. I rode with some strange kid since T and K were riding together and mom didn’t wanna come (what was she thinking, passing up an opportunity like that??

  • 4777 feet of track
  • Max height of 203 feet
  • Drops of 144 feet
  • Speeds of up to 67 mph

It simulates a barrel roll in a fighter, rolling 180 degrees, hanging 86 feet in the air, and then diving back under itself. What a screamer! I was hoarse for 3 days, partly from that, partly from screaming at the near nekkid men in the male nude revue Thunder From Down Under.

2. Saw nekkid men in a bunch at the previously mentioned Thunder From Down Under All Male Revue. It was different. I think I liked Chippendales better, but that was twenty years ago and I was younger and thinner and didn’t think twice about sticking my tongue down one of the dancer’s throats. And stuffing money right where you think I did. Yikes! Talk about going to DampPanty City on a fast boat!
Where was I? Oh yeah, the TFDU show. I was there with my 73 year old mother and my sister and her boyfriend, an odd set of people to watch with, you have to admit. Mom and I both liked it, my sis had a headache and wasn’t too into the experience anyway, for reasons unknown to me. The boyfriend was just being an incredibly good sport.
The most fun and naughty feeling at the show came from taking covert pictures with my Treo in the NO PHOTOS show. 🙂
Also, watching the boys made me feel like I was robbing the cradle, which I most certainly could have done. Hey, what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas!

3. I shopped in P. Diddy’s store. There were jeans there, nothing special except for the initials on the back pocket: a swirly S C. (Sean Combs is P. Diddy’s real name, in case you’ve been in a closet for the last few years). The frikkin’ jeans were $198. I’m not making that up. I didn’t buy them. I did buy a t-shirt that was not SC merchandise, from the WPT which had squirrels on it and said, “I got my nut in Las Vegas” (a nut being a pair of aces).

4. Rode train after train after train. It was the Great Train Weekend. And me never ever riding a train before except the Metro in DC once a million years ago.
I rode the Blue Line train from the downtown LA office to Long Beach where mom lives, after finishing up the installation there. Flew to Las Vegas, then rode a train in the Las Vegas airport just to get our damned luggage. [side note: I HATE that airport] Then we saw Train on Letterman Friday night. Then we rode the Metro train in LV up and down the track, just because we could. And then I did it again later in the day to meet up with K and T.

5. Stayed in Paris. Nice hotel, but sorta spendy for my budget. Great food in every food outlet in the building, though. Really exceptional. I had a duck BLT for lunch one day – awesome!

6. Rode an elevator to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris. That was less fun than it sounds. It was way cold and windy on the top and took all the joy out of sightseeing from there, plus we were in sort of a hurry because it was time to checkout of the hotel.

7. Flew on Jet Blue. That was a first. It was a lot nicer than SouthWorst, which is my usual choice. More leg and ass room, better nosh, and it even had little TVs on the backs of the chairs. I didn’t try mine because a) it was a short flight and b) tv ain’t really my thang, anyway. I had the Shuffle on.

8. Stopped at an actual Oxygen Bar. I didn’t know there was such a thing. It was a tiny bit dorky (or maybe a lot). T bought, mostly to expose us old farts to something new, I think. Side note: T is older than I am, but seems to have a youthful outlook. The Oxygen Bar actually sobered me up, which was a waste of good booze, if you ask me. Tony, er, T, I mean, said that all the casinos pump pure oxygen through the buildings to keep people awake. Isn’t that weird? Tony did one more first for us – he introduced mom and I to …

9. Jello Shots. Yes. We had our choice of Tequila in Lime or Vodka in Cherry, so I had both. They actually sucked, in that I could mostly only taste the bad jello food coloring/fake flavor. Damn! I will have to make some here, with good jello and good booze. Patron Jello Shooters. That will probably go down as a major travesty in the annals of Patron drinking. I don’t think mom liked them much better than I did. I can’t remember if Kathy had tried jello shooters prior to our little UnderGround Casino adventure.
I don’t know where we were, some basement in a casino. Probably MGM Grand, or possibly NY,NY. Or the Excalibur.

10. Rode on a magic carpet at the Luxor and have the DVD to prove it. That was by far the best money we spent while we were there. What a hoot! I wish I could figure out how to make a DVD available on this blog. Or not. Anyway, I highly recommend it if you’re in the Luxor, speaking of which: I liked the Luxor, it had a nice feel, but I didn’t spend much time on the casino floor so I can’t vouch for that part. T and I went on a virtual ride there, called the Search for the Obelisk. It sucked major ass wind. I mean, it was totally dumb. Whew. That was maybe the worst money we spent there, with the possible exception of …

11. Nearly barfed at the buffet at Orleans. Don’t go there. Why we went on in there, seeing no one in line when we had other choices is beyond me. Live and learn. We coulda had great food at Al’s Oyster Bar. They had some nice pasta dishes, and the oysters were divine. T and I split a dozen while K watched and tried not to hurl.

12. K and I went on a virtual roller coaster in one of the kids parts of one of the casinos. It was kind of fun (moreso than the Obelisk, fer sure) but the scariest part about it was all the crud on the rail that we had to hang on to. Blech!

13. For number 13, here are some things I *didn’t* do in Vegas: I didn’t play any cards the whole time I was there. How weird is that? Didn’t ever get particularly shit-faced, either, although I had a buzz going a good portion of the time. Didn’t fight with mom. Didn’t get too turned around the whole time, location-wise. That was really different. All in all, a pretty fun three days.

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