TopFive’s Happy Holidays Project is underway!
Chris is trying to raise $10,000 for Toys for Tots,
and there’s something in it for you as well!
Go here for details: http://topfive.com/holiday.shtml
Rocky Balboa,” the sixth installment in the Rocky series
starring Sylvester Stallone, will be in theaters tomorrow!
The Top 17 Surprises in “Rocky Balboa”
17> “… and in this corner, wearing the purple Depends….”
16> Rocky’s training drink now a glass of EggBeaters mixed with
Metamucil and a Viagra.
15> His opponent for the big match? Hilary Swank.
14> Post-conversion to Kabbalah, Rocky replaces “Yo, Adrian!”
with “Oy, Adrian!”
13> Mr. T makes a cameo appearance as a waiter with one single
line: “Fool, you want some chicken?”
12> While pondering how he got a championship bout at age 58,
Rocky walks into the locker room to find his drunk brother-
in-law fellating Don King.
11> Cuff and Link are long gone, but Rocky has new turtles named
Lame and Sequel.
10> Heartrending scene in which Rocky breaks his hip climbing
into the ring.
9> After being knocked down for a third time, a frustrated Rocky
cries out, “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”
8> The waistband on Rocky’s boxing shorts almost touches his pecs.
7> A health-conscious Rocky trains by punching slabs of tofu
at Whole Foods.
6> “Rocky”: “Cut my eye!” “Rocky Balboa”: “Cut my steak!”
5> Whenever Rocky gets a bloody nose, his corner man packs his
nostrils with Gummi Bears.
4> Rocky calmly bypasses the steps of the Philadelphia Art Museum
and drives his Rascal up the access ramp.
3> Truly gross scene in which Rocky misunderstands the
instruction to leave his stool in the corner of the ring.
2> Taking no chances this time, Rocky gets cornea transplants
taken from actual tigers.
and Topfive.com’s Number 1 Surprise in “Rocky Balboa”…
1> In a scene employing clever symbolism, Rocky trains by
punching the carcass of a horse.
[ The Top 5 List www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 2006 by Chris White ]