Quote O’ The Day

Benefits of Aging

When you get real old, honey, you realize there are certain things that just don’t matter anymore. You lay it all on the table. There’s a saying, “Only little children and old folks tell the truth.”


One step forward …

Office Depot had a good deal on low-end laptops in the Sunday paper. $349 after rebate.* My sis has been jonesing for a new laptop for a really, really long time, so I told her about it.

She was ecstatic, and I went and picked it up for her. On the way into the store, my [unbe-fucking-lievably expensive] Treo 700p fell onto its head on the parking lot, and died a lingering, painful death by crunched circuits. I had stripes on the screen and could make calls for awhile using voice dial, but then it went totally black. I was devastated.

Luckily for me, Verizon was on the ball and I have a new one coming. For whatever reason, they didn’t ask me what happened to it. I had been practicing lying about the circumstances for a whole day and was a tiny bit queasy about it. Lame, I know, but I am not a good liar. Not really due to copious moral fiber, more due to not being able to think quickly and respond off the top of my head. (That’s why I like computers … they don’t care if I’m fast, they only care if I’m good – or to put it less anthropomorpologically, I don’t think fast, but I think well. Most of the time).

It’s been hard being w/out the Treo since Sunday night. Number 1 reason: I can’t play solitaire any second I feel like it. Number 2 reason: that damnable hour commute to and from Bumfuck, Egypt, where I currently reside. I’m always afraid if the car dies and I’m on the side of the road w/out a cell phone the only people who will stop will be the bad guys from Deliverance.

On a positive note, the little laptop turned out okay. I wiped it initially, leaving the recovery partition, to put XP Pro on it. I am not too thrilled by Vista yet. Particularly Vista Basic which is what came pre-installed. But the XP wouldn’t work. No drivers for the hardware. Damn! I reinstalled the factory default Vista and it was slllloooooowww, but after some video tweaking to lean toward speed instead of pretty, it perked up. Got on the network w/out problems.  Office 2003 installed on it okay. The updates for that were different and it took a few minutes to figure them out, but it all came out a’ight. And still looks nice.

Now I just have to get the damn thing mailed off to Mair.

*This one is for $200. My last Office Depot rebate of $150 took them 120 days to process. Four months. That completely sucks but it did actually arrive today. The key may be to start asking about it earlier. That seems to trigger a response. Like, “Hey, she didn’t forget about it, I guess we’re going to have to go ahead and mail the check.” Bastards.


–==++ TopFive’s News Headlines ++==–

Shaven-Head Britney’s Drapes Finally Match Carpet
(Kristian Idol, www.13idol.com)

Zombie Anna Nicole Smith Yet to Acquire Taste for Brains
(Bill Muse)

Barry Bonds Reports to Training Camp After Stomping Tokyo
(Mike Ranston)

Seven Hospitalized in Elevator Kim Chee Burp
(Travis Ruetenik)

Six More Weeks of Bad Weather as Donald Trump’s Hair See Shadow
(Jerry L. Embry)

Fired Weatherman Blames Huge Snowstorms for On-Air Erection
(Bill Muse)
The joke about Kim Chee made me RLOL. :):)

Quote O’ The Day

Secrets of Success

My success wasn’t based on how I could push down everyone around me. My success was based on how much I could push everybody up. And eventually their success was the same way. And in the process they pushed me up, and I pushed them up, and we kept doing that, and we still do that.


ha ha

Finally, a rumination that tickled me:

Rumination of the Day

If men have a funny way of looking at life, maybe it’s because
we always view it through the periscope in our pants.
(Michael Cunningham)

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Happy VD

We’re going out to dinner in a few minutes. Saluté. We were there when it first opened 18 months ago and it was wonderful, but 18 month here has probably beaten the life out of it. I can relate.

So, we have this new dog, Gunnar. I can’t remember his name about 90 % of the time. Mostly I call him Goober or Gumby or Gumball or Dumbell or Dunderhead. Two days ago I couldn’t remember his OR Sissy’s name and when I hollered for them, I called, “Gumball! Sushi!! Come!” They did.