Joys of womanhood

Q: What should you do if you need a C-Section but your obstetrician is stuck on the golf course?

A: Call your local pig castrator.

In the first recorded incidence of a woman surviving a Caesarean section, in 1500, Jacob Nufer, a Swiss swine gelder (a pig castrator), used his swine-gelding instruments to remove a baby from his wife’s womb after a prolonged labor. Not only did Mrs. Nufer survive the surgery, she went on to give birth to twins and four other children.