It’s Christmas, and that means it’s time to increase your cheesy collection of stuff! What do you collect? What would you collect if you had unlimited funds or a complete lack of taste? What’s your favorite piece in your current collection?
My hairdresser collects pigs, but doesn’t admit to it anymore because for years every client she had would buy her some pig-inspired thing for each and every birthday, Christmas, and vacation souvenir. Pig calendars, pig salt shakers, pig figurines out the wazoo. Ballerina pigs, ferchrissake. She was drowning in pigs. [wow, there’s an interesting mental image]
We did that to mom when she collected owls. The problem becomes one of storage, plus, how do you toss one that came from somebody whom you love but has terrible taste? But, oh, man, it’s so EASY to add to someone’s collection if it’s something kitschy! I still have the urge to buy Margie an owl if I see a cute one, but I can usually contain myself. It’s been months now since I’ve succumbed.
I collect wind-up toys. I like all sorts of them. Big and little. My faves are generally robot-looking wind-ups, because it combines my love of sci-fi with my love of things that hop around on their own.
I have wind-up teeth, lips, sushi, chickens, liederhosen, pickles – you name it, I have one that hops. They’re great, but I have no place to put them at the moment so they are languishing in old Bailey’s cans in the closet. My Christmas “want list” this year has a collectible shelf on it.
So, out with it. What do you collect?
*Brandophilist = cigar band collector
*Phonophilist = phonograph record collector
PS: If I was rich I might collect Arabian horses.
And stable boys.