What is the single most important piece of advice you’d give to the bride-and-groom-to-be?
Being as I’m on marriage #3, I don’t think I’m particularly qualified to answer this. But of course I will, anyway. And I think if we did this, everything else would fall into place and we’d all live happily ever after.
When you are are frustrated with your partner, or your partner seems frustrated with you, ask, “What do you need from me right now?”
Think about it.
What’s YOUR secret to being happily married?
5 thoughts on “Question of the Moment #3”
don’t expect your partner to be your everything.
that’s my number 1 piece of advice, but I guess what I’m saying is maintain a life outside the relationship. keep up other interests and friendships. keep on being the person who captured their heart, don’t just be one half of a couple. boredom can set in when you spend all your time together or if you make constant demands on a partner who wants a bit of space.
My secret to being happily married is that he can have whatever tools he wants, and I can have whatever yarn I want. That’s not applicable though for all married couples, I’m sure.
So I’d say, “don’t go to sleep mad at each other.”
I like the tools and yarn technique. Bob’s all about audio equipment and, if I had unlimited funds, you could just call me Imelda. Beats and Feets? Sounds and Hounds?
Seriously, I wish I had the magic key to all this. And in my heart, I know it doesn’t really exist.
My and my husbands’ philosophy is ‘Open and honest.’ But the trick is to start this long before you are married. C and I were upfront with each other from the very start. None of those silly games like, ‘Oh, I’m going to make him sweat by not calling him for three days,’ or any of that bullshit. If either of us wanted to talk, we called. The open and honest policy has brought us closer than I ever thought I could be to another person, and has filled our relationship with perfect trust. There is no second guessing – it’s all out there for us to work on as a team. The drawback: I felt soooo guilty lying to him about his x-mas gift! I had to make him open it a week and a half before the 25th to get the story off my chest. Well, that, and the idea that I thought there was a laptop under the tree for me. =)
Maybe open and honest really is the magic key. I don’t think either Bob or I are in touch with our feelings enough to know where to start, though. We do try not to jerk each other around. I don’t want to manipulate or “manage” him like I’ve seen some people do (and swear by), and I don’t think he knows how to manipulate me. Or if he does, he’s REALLY REALLY good at it. 🙂 Maybe we’re too old and beat down to develop perfect trust. Now THAT’s a depressing thought.
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