Uneasy

I wish someone would go rub my mom’s neck.  I think she’s got some big pain going on, sitting in the hospital watching Gary die.

I can’t even imagine how mom and Mair feel but the psychic link to mom is going balls to the wall right now.  I want to scream and rail.  But I can’t.  Maybe he just died.  I hope somebody will tell me.

5 thoughts on “Uneasy”

  3. bc says:

    My mom’s boss and sometimes lover of 20 years, and who is also the person that my sister lives with (platonically, lest you wonder about the mother/daughter thing) has cancer of the pancreatic variety. It was stage 4 when they found it some 6 months ago. Sis has been taking care of him, but he’s on his final approach now, and is in the hospital more or less unconscious taking his last labored breaths. Mom’s been sitting there with him for a few days, suffering beside him. Sis is spending a lot of time there, too.
    Mom and sis were supposed to fly up here for Christmas eve and Christmas, but I don’t know if that’s going to happen now or not. They’re all in sad limbo.

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  4. oh that is very very sad.

    I sat with my lover as he was dying with cancer less than 4 months ago. he was only 46. I still cry about it almost every day, f#*!ing insidious disease….

    sending my love to your mom and sister

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  5. bc says:

    4 months – your wound is still very fresh. You have my deepest sympathy.
    My friend’s wife died of cancer 4 months ago, too. He’s still feeling very wounded and not knowing how to handle this first Christmas season without her. If it’s this hard to watch, it must be hell to live it.

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