I like number 3 a lot.
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April 23, 2008
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
Think TopFive can’t be classy?
We’ve got *poetry* for you today!
The Top 25 Election 2008 Haikus
25> Evil Viet Cong
And their horrid torture camps?
No match for this crap!
24> Dennis Kucinich
Said he saw UFOs, then
Disappeared in one.
23> The time has long past.
The fat lady sings to thee,
Huckabee, go home!
22> Hillary’s *so* tired.
Pranksters won’t stop calling her
Right at 3 a.m.
21> John McCain am I.
So strong, can crush you like bug.
Do not look at me!
20> Who wants the lesser
Of three evils? Bill Bradley,
Won’t you please come home?
19> John McCain makes speech:
“My fellow Americans,
Get off my damn lawn!”
18> Barack, be like Bill.
He *does* love America —
One chick at a time.
17> Ron Paul is still in.
Waiting for the mothership?
Reality check!
16> Hillary Clinton’s
Inevitability
Fades like Mets in fall.
15> Just say what you mean!
Don’t start every speech with
“What I meant to say…”
14> John McClain? “Die Hard”?
Hey, Iran: Yippie-kay-yay,
You evil mofos!
13> Hillary Clinton
Fighting Barack Obama?
You two get a room!
12> GOP to Dems:
Good luck choosing nominee.
Wake us in August.
11> Hillary was the
Odds-on favorite to win —
Like the Patriots.
10> Many candidates,
All of them equally bad.
Write in for Chris White!
9> Pennsylvanians
Can indeed be quite bitter —
Like Reverend Wright.
8> When will it be safe
To watch my TV again?
I’m sick of this crap.
7> Who won’t die, but comes
Once again to eat our brains?
Zombie Ralph Nader!
6> Hi. I’m John McCain.
Some say I’m too old to run.
Hi. I’m John McCain…
5> Bosnian snipers
Over a decade later
Shoot holes in Clinton.
4> Forget the war and
Economy plummeting —
Where’s his damn flag pin?!?
3> I’m watching Fox News.
Apparently, the sun shines
Out of McCain’s ass.
2> 3 a.m. phone call
Hillary answers, first ring
It’s Trixi, for Bill.
and Topfive.com’s Number 1 Election 2008 Haiku…
1> Hypnotizing me,
Winning my heart and my vote:
Obama Girl’s boobs.
[ Copyright 2008 by Chris White/TopFive.com ]
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