Month: June 2008

George Carlin, R.I.P.

Oh, sad, sad day.  George Carlin died yesterday at about 6 p.m. in Los Angeles.  Heart Problems, which had been ongoing.

Dammit, I’m going to miss him and his Stuff.

Do you remember his “Seven Filthy Words?”   A regulatory battle raged over his radio broadcast of the “Filthy Words” routine and ultimately made it to the U.S. Supreme Court.

George Carlin, RIP

Airplane Etiquette

ELBONICS (el bon’iks) n
The actions of two people maneuvering for one armrest in an airplane

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I have a question for you if you fly much:

Who gets the armrests where?  Does the middle guy get both armrests because he’s stuck in the middle? Is there an unwritten rule about it that has yet to be disclosed to me?

I spend entire flights with my elbows pressed into my sides because I can’t decide what to do with my arms.

writers

An odd lot, for sure.  But they make the best blogs, also for sure.

Here’s an entertaining one, showing the ways one has to expand and contract to create art for money:

“I’d write anything if I’m paid to write it. Seriously. I don’t discriminate. I’m a tattooed, graphic novel reading, insomniac nutcase who has slept with too many women to count and who swears like a sailor. You want me to write the brochure for your Christian college’s Young Republican’s meeting? Yes. Yes, I will. And you will have no idea that I would probably make a church collapse if I stepped inside of it, unless it was for an AA meeting.:”

Read the rest of the rant here.

Electric Cars

I have a hybrid which I continually drive faster than I should.  No hypermileage here. Now I’m just waiting for Reddy Kilowatt to show up and kick my ass.

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June 11, 2008

The Top 16 Dangers of Electric Cars

16> Turning on the headlights drops the top speed to 15 MPH.

15> Inflated sense of self-righteousness may cause air bags
to randomly deploy.

14> Jetsons’ car: Cool sound effect.
Your electric car: Sounds like Dad’s 1958 Norelco.

13> Go over 60 for even one minute and you have to pull over
so the car can use its asthma inhaler.

12> “Roadside assistance” involves a kite and waiting for
a thunderstorm.

11> Now your wife can apply makeup, talk on the phone AND blow-dry
her hair while toasting a bagel in rush hour traffic.

10> Condom-less backseat sex leave you not only unprotected but
also ungrounded.

9> The electromagnetic pulse from any nearby nuclear detonation
may cause stalling.

8> Increased odds of getting carjacked by Ed Begley, Jr.

7> It’s a Molotov cocktail on wheels after you try filling it up
on the way home from the bar.

6> If you’re hit by lightning, the car accelerates to the speed
of light.

5> Go over 60 mph, and Reddy Kilowatt shows up to kick your ass.

4> Finding a dead battery in the morning because your wife left
her vibrator plugged into the cigarette lighter all night.

3> Can’t drive it in the bath tub.

2> Your old gas costs were nothing compared to what you’re now
spending on extension cords.

and Topfive.com’s Number 1 Danger of Electric Cars…

1> Buying one gets you kicked out of the Republican Party.

[ Copyright 2008 by Chris White/TopFive.com ]

BuzzWord of the Day

This is a good one.  My (possibly) favorite author, Barbara Kingsolver, has been experimenting with being a locavore for the past year or so.  According to her it’s hard to pass up that beautiful fresh fruit from Chile in the winter….

B U Z Z W O R D O F T H E D A Y

locavore
One whose diet consists primarily of
locally-produced food.
Nominated by Aunt Shecky

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