BillG retires

These made me smile this morning. Probably have to be kind of geeky to appreciate them, however.
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July 2, 2008


Bill Gates has officially cleaned out his
desk and stepped down from his Microsoft gig.
It’s about time that nerd got a real job
and stopped mooching off his parents!

But seriously, folks…

The Top 15 Things Found in Bill Gates’s Desk

15> A frame holding the first $1 billion he made.

14> Those compromising pictures of Janet Reno that ultimately
saved Microsoft’s monopolistic bacon.

13> iPhone, iBook, Airbook, iPod, etc.

12> “Past Due” notices from Hell’s Souls Receivable Department.

11> A copy of “Home Haircuts for Dummies.”

10> $863,979.42 in loose change.

9> Crumpled copy of Al Gore’s patent on the Internet.

8> A copy of Machiavelli’s “The Prince,” an IOU from Pope
Benedict XVI, Jimmy Hoffa’s wristwatch and some Skittles.

7> God’s cell phone number.

6> Memo to Microsoft employees now allowing consumption of
apples and Big Macs.

5> His old cardboard “Will Compute for Food” sign.

4> Steve Jobs’s life force — and damn if it didn’t get out
of the bottle again!

3> The title deed to Liechtenstein.

2> Unsent letter to girl who spurned him in 10th grade, written
on back of bank statement.

and’s Number 1 Thing Found in Bill Gates’s Desk…

1> Severed limbs of the Microsoft product developer who wrote
the original specifications for Windows Vista.

[ Copyright 2008 by Chris White/ ]