Putting the Duh in Induhvidual

This is from the latest Dilbert Newsletter.
Here are some true tales of people who put the duh in induhvidual.
…………………………….
My sister in law was concerned about her diet and weight, so we offered to make her a salad for lunch. I looked in the fridge and found a fresh tub of butter lettuce. She refused it because “Butter lettuce is fattening.”
…………………………….
Me: I’m surprised the kids get Columbus Day off from school.
My Hairdresser: Yeah, I thought all of the presidents were celebrated on the same day!
Me: (nothing)
…………………………….
My boss told me that his presentation the previous evening seemed to go well, but he had technology problems. H e asked, “Is there a battery in that laptop or something? Does the thing just shut down when the battery is low?”
…………………………….
My wife worked for the Department of Veterans Affairs (VA-Medical). One of her jobs was to assist the veterans who were coming in to receive medical care. Not all were authorized to receive care and she would have to politely explain the situation.
Her favorite reply (which she actually received many, many times) was “What do you mean I’m not authorized? I fought and died for my country!”
…………………………….
During a meeting at work, a presentation was being shown on the projection screen that was being run by an admin sitting at the computer. The presenter, speaking remotely through the teleconference speaker, asked the admin to scroll the screen to the left, to which she replied, “Do you mean my left or your left?”
…………………………….
I work for a large IT consulting firm. In discussing the process for preparing a system to go live, the client manager said in a status review, “Well, if we do extensive testing, we run the risk of identifying significant issues.” I had to explain to him the point of testing.

2 thoughts on “Putting the Duh in Induhvidual

  1. Isn’t that last one from the government? We wouldn’t want to test something like Star Wars because we might find significant issues, you know. Or how about Agent Orange? Depleted uranium munitions? Nah, just use it.

    Like

  2. i once put something in the microwave oven during a power outage – and was surprised that it wasn’t working either. my wasband laughed his ass off… for what seemed like days….

    Like

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