more twitter HI-larity

Seamstress and Ars Technica maven Jacqui Cheng tweets …

ejacqui: Making pleats like a motherfucker.


I’m sorry, but pleats and motherfucker have never before appeared in a sentence together.   I had to share.


Here is what she was pleating like a motherfucker.  I’m pretty sure doing this would make me curse like a sailor, too.


More scary computer shit

Vast Spy System Loots Computers in 103 Countries
New York Times (03/29/09) Markoff, John

Researchers at the University of Toronto’s Munk Center for International Studies say a massive electronic spying operation has successfully stolen documents from hundreds of government and private offices around the world.

The researchers say the system was controlled from computers almost exclusively in China, but they cannot conclusively say the Chinese government is involved. The researchers were asked by the office of the Dalai Lama to examine its computers for signs of malware and discovered a vast operation that, in less than two years, managed to infiltrate at least 1,295 computers in 103 countries, including computers belonging to many embassies, foreign ministries, other government offices, and the Dalai Lama’s Tibetan exile centers in India, Brussels, London, and New York.

The Munk Center researchers say that in addition to spying on the Dalai Lama, the system, which they named GhostNet, also focused on governments in South Asian and Southeast Asian countries. GhostNet is by far the largest, in terms of the number of countries affected, spying operation to be exposed, and it is believed that this is the first time that researchers have been able to uncover the workings of a computer systems used for intrusions of such magnitude.

The researchers say GhostNet continues to infect and monitor more than a dozen new computers a week. The malware not only “phishes” for unwary victims but also “whales” for specific, important targets. The malware can even turn on the video and audio features of an infected computer, enabling the malware’s operators to see and hear what goes on in front of the computer. The researchers have notified international law enforcement agencies of the spying operation, which they believe exposes shortcomings in the legal structure of cyberspace.

funny twitters

Some days I just have to share.  In retrospect I suppose this is all completely twisted, but,  I still have to share.  You’ve been warned.

wilw: I just realized that today was the first day I put ascii dicks on my blog. My inner seventh-grader is so pleased, he’s making hand farts.
Our marriage counselor just put a switchblade on the table, left the room, and locked the door. What do you guys think I — omg she’s fast

awryone@fireland: She killed herself, right?
hotdogsladies:  Without MUNI, it’d be way harder to find a guy yelling at his burrito while the lady next to him trims her toenails.


Him: I like the glasses.
Very sexy librarian.
Me: If you don’t return your books, I’ll charge late fees.
Him: You’re not doing it right.

Okay, now this next conversation made me howl when it started rolling through.  These guys are um, gross, but it makes my inner 5th grader laugh like a maniac.  Okay, really, that’s about where my humor generally is, anyway.  Poop joke, anyone?
SeoulBrother: Lazy web:  is it “pussy-farts” or “pussyfarts?”  it’s not in the AP Style book.

(next day….)

SeoulBrother: Good morning and thanks for all your feedback regarding ‘pussy farts.’ I’ve decided to go another direction and use ‘pfart’ instead.

“Vag tuba, fuck turbulence and busty trombone” made strong candidates however they all lacked the dainty elegance of ‘pfart.’

awryone@SeoulBrother: Is that a silent P? As in Michelle Pfeiffer pfarted?

Whatever happened to “queef”?  There’s already a word for this, dude.  Read a book.

hotdogsladies: You laugh, @SeoulBrother.  Eleanor’s “Music Together” CD has a trilly, very earnest folk song called, “My Lady Wind.”  Hand to God.

smartasshat@SeoulBrother: Another thing to consider: How do we insert Pfister into this conversation?

SeoulBrother@Moltz:  Thanks to you, I now associate ‘queef’ with yogurt.…  You always have to ruin everything.

awryone: Suggested by @Moltz: a book about queefing. As long as its an AUDIO BOOK, I’m buyin’!

Moltz: Working title for my upcoming book about queefing: Passion Times Voice.

smartasshat:  I would like to request that @Moltz’ queef book be scratch n’ sniff.

SeoulBrotherI couldn’t think of a more appropriate use of the iTMS affiliate program than this (ht @hotdogsladies)

Moltz: Twitter: because you’d get fired if you had these conversations in the workplace.


March 29: lesbro

1. A man who has more friendships with lesbians than other women or men. ant. fag hag
2. A man who befriends lesbians with the intent to seduce them.

I have a friend who’s always been a bit of a fag hag but I’ve never known a lesbro.  Good word, though, eh?

April Fools, Internet

Fears of a Conficker meltdown greatly exaggerated

With 60 Minutes airing a report on Sunday, some people are panicking, but researchers don’t expect anything dramatic
By Robert McMillan , IDG News Service , 03/27/2009

Worries that the notorious Conficker worm will somehow rise up and devastate the Internet on April 1 are misplaced, security experts said Friday.

Conficker is thought to have infected more than 10 million PCs worldwide, and researchers estimate that several million of these machines remain infected. If the criminals who created the network wanted to, they could use this network to launch a very powerful distributed denial of service (DDOS) attack against other computers on the Internet.

April 1 is the day that the worm is set to change the way it updates itself, moving to a system that is much harder to combat, but most security experts say that this will have little effect on most computer users’ lives.

Nevertheless, many people are worried, according to Richard Howard, director of iDefense Security Intelligence. “We have been walking customers down from the ledge all day,” he said. Often, the problem has been that company executives have read reports of some April 1st incident and then proceed to “get their IT and security staffs spun up,” Howard said in an e-mail interview.

That hype will probably intensify when the U.S. TV newsmagazine 60 Minutes airs a report Sunday on Conficker, entitled “The Internet is Infected.”

Conficker “could be triggered, maybe on April 1st … but no one knows whether on April 1st they’ll just issue an instruction that says ‘Just continue sitting there’ or whether it will start stealing our money or creating a spam attack,” CBS reporter Lesley Stahl said in a preview interview ahead of the show. “The truth is, nobody knows what it’s doing there.”

April 1 is what Conficker researchers are calling a trigger date, when the worm will switch the way it looks for software updates. The worm has already had several such trigger dates, including Jan. 1, none of which had any direct impact on IT operations, according to Phil Porras, a program director with SRI International who has studied the worm.

“Technically, we will see a new capability, but it complements a capability that already exists,” Porras said. Conficker is currently using peer-to-peer file sharing to download updates, he added.

The worm, which has been spreading since October of last year, uses a special algorithm to determine what Internet domains it will use to download instructions.

Introducing Graphene

New Material Could Lead to Faster Chips
MIT News (03/19/09) Chandler, David

Researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) have built an experimental graphene-based microchip that could lead to cell phones and other communications systems that transmit data significantly faster.

The MIT researchers’ graphene chip is known as a frequency multiplier. It is capable of receiving electrical signals on a certain frequency and producing an output signal that is a multiple of that frequency. Frequency multipliers are commonly used in radio communications and other applications, but existing systems need multiple components, produce “noisy” signals that need filtering, and consume large amounts of power.

MIT’s graphene-based chip has only a single transistor and produces a highly energy-efficient, clean output that does not need filtering. By running several graphene frequency multipliers in a series, it should be possible to reach frequencies significantly higher than is currently possible. A key element of making graphene widely usable will be perfecting the methods used to produce sufficient quantities of the material.

“Graphene will play a key role in future electronics,” says MIT professor Tomas Palacios. “We just need to identify the right devices to take full advantage of its outstanding properties. Frequency multipliers could be one of these devices.”

Buzzword of the Day


Male menopause. Symptoms include a sudden lack of energy, crankiness and the overpowering urge to buy a Porsche.

Buzzword of the Day

You can subscribe to this if you have the urge, they’re coming out fairly regularly again.  I LOVE this one.

My ex had Menoclipse – he got cranky, lost his energy, quit his job and bought an Eclipse.  Really.