November 29: Thanksgiving Beard
An unintentional beard started over the 4 day Thanksgiving weekend, where you’re too lazy to shave it off monday morning. Usually continues until Christmas or New Year’s Day.
Also known as a Holiday Beard
Boss: You look like you haven’t shaved in days. That’s unprofessional.
Employee: Sir, that’s my Thanksgiving beard. It’s my way of honoring our forefathers.
Boss: Oh, I didn’t realize that. Maybe I’ll grow one too.
November 24, 2009
NOTE FROM CHRIS:
Today’s BRAND NEW list was compiled
from submissions carefully crafted by you,
our lovely and talented ClubTop5 members.
The Top 15 Little-Known Facts About Thanksgiving
(Part I)
15> The first turkey dressing occurred because the Pilgrims were
such prigs, the “nude” turkey was roasted in an actual dress.
14> The Pilgrims had a completely different meaning for the phrase
“stuffing your bird.”
13> The native women’s habit of walking around half-naked caused
many Pilgrim teenagers to remain seated at the table until
very late in the evening.
12> First choice of name for the holiday — “Gorge ‘n’ Puke Day”
— was deemed a little extreme by church leaders.
11> The first Indian corn casserole was made with real Indians.
10> The wide leather belts worn by the Pilgrims weren’t actually
leather, but rubber, invented by Myles Standish so he wouldn’t
need to unbuckle after the feast.
9> The First Thanksgiving dinner contained no meat as the
most influential Pilgrims were vegetarians. At the second
Thanksgiving, *they* were eaten by the others, and meat
was acceptable fare again.
8> The term “scalping tickets” was coined at the first
Thanksgiving Football game between the Redskins and Patriots.
7> Prior to the current tradition of the president pardoning a
turkey at the White House, custom required the Secretary of
Agriculture to kill the bird with his bare hands.
6> The word “Thanksgiving” was derived from the full name of
the famous forefather who started it all, Hank Skiffing.
5> The first box of Stovetop Stuffing just sat on the Pilgrims’
table, as if it were waiting for something.
4> The average turducken is less than three percent turd.
3> The popular “pop-up turkey timer” was based on an embarrassing
incident involving Myles Standish and a felted beaver hat.
2> The tradition of dressing up as Pilgrims and Indians started
in 1621 with the musicians hired to entertain at the dinner.
They also had a cop, a construction worker and a biker, but
no one knew what those costumes were, so those were abandoned
in 1622.
and Topfive.com’s Number 1 Little-Known Fact About Thanksgiving…
1> Americans feast on 535 million pounds of turkey
on Thanksgiving. That’s enough tryptophan to make
Amy Winehouse blink heavily for 10 seconds.
[ Copyright 2009 by Chris White/TopFive.com ]
Also, I just read SJ’s blog for the first time in ages (she had stopped writing for awhile to regroup, I believe) and she had written a hilarious paragraph which I shall share with you forthwith. I probably like it because I’m hoping for something like this to happon to me, too.
“YOU GUYS, I ALMOST DIED! Okay, that is a slight exaggeration, and by “slight” I mean “not true at all.” What happon is that I started a new job that is making me 79% less homicidal. YEAH! I love it. No more veal pen. They can see my smart as if my head is transparent and they are going to use it. I feel confused being in a place where diligence and cleverness is rewarded, but I will probably adjust.”
One of the groups I belong to for the non-profit sector had a whole tweet day dedicated to things they were thankful for. It was a nice thought but gaggingly boring to follow. These tech people… non-profits in particular ….
Just for the record, I’m thankful every goddamned day and I think about it. Seriously. I’ve somehow managed to get this old with all four limbs intact, most of my own teeth, and vision that is a 1000 times better than I was born with. I’m mostly healthy and strong, have a marriage that is an 88-90 on a 1 to -10o scale after 7 years (last one was about a 22 after 7 years) and a job that I used to like a lot for many years and will soon be leaving.
That last bit is … I’m thankful I believe I can still rally and go get hired somewhere else. I wasn’t thinking that way for awhile. Someone will figure out I’m a jewel and be thrilled to have me and I will be a great asset to their business.
And another thing: I’m so old I’m not going to get H1N1 this year. I like that. A benefit to old age that doesn’t hurt!
November 24: Trailer Fraud
#1: “Boy that film sucked !”
#2: ” Yeah, wtf did we just watch ?”
#1 : “Dunno, the trailer looked good.”
Both : “Trailer Fraud !”
When a trailer misrepresents the movie it advertises. When you view the actual movie, you see the trailer has nothing to do with the narrative, characters or plot. You are a victim of trailer fraud.
So far, this is the oldest I’ve ever been.
In an alternate reality, this is considered funny stuff. No, really! The staph one made me guffaw. Aw, hell, I liked all of them. These are mostly from Brian Malow and funny commenter peeps at BoingBoing
——————
“Werner Heisenberg MAY have slept here.”
Shroedinger’s cat walked into a bar.
But it didn’t.
Infection walks into a bar. Barkeep says, “We don’t serve your kind
here!”
Infection says, “Well, you’re not a very good host!”
Two bacteria walk into a bar. Bartender says,”we don’t serve bacteria
here.” Bacteria replies,”but we work here! We’re staph!”
The hydrogen atom says to the oxygen atom, “Hey buddy, have you seen an electron around here? I seem to have lost mine.”
“Are you sure you lost it?” the oxygen atom asks.
And the hydrogen atom says, “I’m positive!”
So an infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar.
The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says “I hate you guys” and pours two beers.
A Large Hadron Collider walks into a bar. The bartender says “Hey, we don’t serve large hadron colliders in here.”
The Large Hadron Collider says, “That’s OK. I’m broke, anyway.”
A Lichen walks into a bar. The bartender says “we don’t serve your Kind in here.” The Lichen says “that’s O.K., we don’t drink.”
A photon checks into a hotel. The bell hop asks him ” Can I help you with your luggage?” To which the photon replies, “I don’t have any. I’m traveling light.”
A neutron goes into a bar and orders a beer. As the neutron is reaching for its wallet, the bartender looks at it and says, “Oh, for you–no charge.”
Trust Linux!
ICT Results (11/20/09)
A consortium of 23 research and business partners, working on the European OpenTC project, have developed open source software and applications for trusted computing (TC) environments using openSUSE, a commercially available version of the Linux operating system.
Building TC support in openSUSE involved compiling a trusted software stack for Linux, developing universal virtualization layers, and creating TC and trusted platform module management software. The developers say the accomplishment represents a breakthrough in TC technology as openSUSE is now the first operating system to offer full TC support.
The OpenTC platform continually monitors the computer for changes, ensuring that only trusted, verified software is running.
“Until now, TC had been implemented for specific applications, such as Microsoft’s BitLocker hard drive encryption in Windows Vista and Windows 7, or the fingerprint reader on some HP laptops,” says OpenTC project manager Herbert Petautschnig. “With the OpenTC platform, we are extending the TC environment to the full operating system and beyond.”
—————
I wonder if this actually pertains to the US versions of SUSE yet? That would be cool. I used to love Novell, had my network certification in it. I think their enterprise server versions use the TPM technologies, not quite the same thing.
Say Cheese! Flash Mob On Bondi Beach [OFFICIAL]
http://youtube.com/v/Ao4DkbGbxl0
Drag Queens: Where would we be without them? The looks on the faces of non-participants is priceless. I think it’s a little too organized to be a real flashmob but it’s funny anyway. Plus, I know all the words.
☆French bulldog フレンチブルドッグ「チャイvs猫」☆
http://youtube.com/v/udB98SLzXgQ
Cute overload
compu-diva.com 
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