.. then go read this extraordinary letter and answer from Dear Sugar.
DEAR SUGAR, The Rumpus Advice Column #78: The Obliterated Place
1. It’s taken me many weeks to compose this letter and even still, I can’t do it right. The only way I can get it out is to make a list instead of write a letter. This is a hard subject and a list helps me contain it. You may change it to a regular letter if you wish to should you choose to publish it. [Read the rest of it]