Month: September 2011

Gadgets we need

Via Top5

We need one for the radio, too, that will insert static at the sound of Rush Limbaugh’s voice.

September 15, 2011

NOTE FROM CHRIS:

Tired of Snooki? A Brooklyn man has come up with
a hack for a TV remote that automatically mutes
the TV when certain celebrity names are mentioned.

What other brilliant gadgets could we all benefit from?

The Top 17 Inventions We’d Like to See

17> Reality Enhancer: Glasses that let you add great effects
and coolness to your otherwise drab existence

16> Random excuse generator for White House press secretaries

15> Automated launcher that flings a shoe at the TV whenever
Nancy Grace is on, so that we don’t have to

14> Pants on Fire!: detector that makes all lies during
presidential debates sound like Donald Duck    [<–love this]

13> Organic and sustainable fake vomit

12> Foot-pedal powered Fleshlight so you can keep one hand on
the mouse and the other on the bong

11> Traffic lights in Washington D.C. that mirror the level
of gridlock in Congress to inspire more cooperation

10> A Roomba stapler that follows your cat around and staples
his ass shut every time he craps anywhere other than the
litter box

9> Solar-powered Electric Slide

8> George Hamilton Grill: human-size, dishwasher safe, non-stick
surface, coordinates with arc of the sun for even tanning

7> Chocolate meth

6> An app that will send 20 volts to your boss’s crotch when you
dial his/her smartphone

5> A GPS that finds the nearest exit whenever the chicken dance
is played at a wedding

4> Crackless sidewalks (many mothers these days don’t have
health insurance)

3> Smartphone app that auto-conferences your agent, manager,
lawyer and rehab center as soon as you are put in the back
of a patrol car (sold only in Hollywood)

2> Combination SCUBA tank/Nachos dispenser

and Topfive.com’s Number 1 Inventions We’d Like to See…

1> UFCUL8R: Whichever ultimate fighter is getting his ass kicked
worse on TV, his face is digitally replaced with that of
Piers Morgan, Kate Gosselin, Charlie Sheen and many more!

[ Copyright 2011 by Chris White/TopFive.com ]

Quotes of the day

If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content.

Seize the moments of happiness, love and be loved! That is the only reality in the world, all else is folly. It is the one thing we are interested in here.

–Leo Tolstoy

 

Also – My grandbaby, BigFoot:

Bigfoot

Mair, KNOCK ‘EM DEAD

They will love, love, love you.  As do we all. xxxoooo

I’ve got a sit-down meal Thursday evening with some people who want me to do a website for them, right after your winning interview.  I want you to get your job WAY more than I care about mine.

I am all about StudioPress for business clients, now.  Good stuff.  Good SEO, updated under the covers.  And not very hard if you know a little bit about … everything.  Like me!

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Without work all life goes rotten.
– Albert Camus, 1913 – 1960

There is no fatigue so wearisome as that which comes from lack of work.
– Charles Haddon Spurgeon, 1834 – 1892

Where Labor stands idle … there is a demonstrated deficiency, not of Capital, but of brains.
– Horace Greeley, 1811 – 1872

Employment gives health, sobriety, and morals. Constant employment and well-paid labor produce, in a country like ours, general prosperity, content, and cheerfulness. Thus happy have we seen the country.
– Daniel Webster, 1782 – 1852

Nothing is more dangerous than discontinued labor; it is habit lost. A habit easy to abandon, difficult to resume.
– Victor Hugo, 1802 – 1885

Even in the meanest sorts of Labor, the whole soul of a man is composed into a kind of real harmony the instant he sets himself to work.
– Thomas Carlyle, 1795 – 1881

The safe and general antidote against sorrow is employment.
– Samuel Johnson, 1709 – 1784