Advil Calendar, Week 2

Once again, hats off to Your Neighborhood Librarian for this very fine Advil calendar.

Also, why is it that every single librarian I know is such a fun writer?  I must have missed something about librarians (probably a lot, really) back in school. My stepson wanted to be a librarian, but I think the tedium of the old-style searching and foot-noting is killing his desire.  Now I wonder if he’s secretly funny and I haven’t been paying attention.  Good God.

Week Two!

Saturday, December 8: La Fée Parisienne Absinthe

Welcome to Strange Drink Saturday! And what’s weirder than absinthe, aka the green fairy, the least palatable liquor I know?

Fox Poison
3 parts chartreuse
3 parts absinthe
1 part green curacao
Build in highball glass. Stir and fill up with ice cold milk. Marvel at its creepy cloudiness, then throw it out and make…

London Fog
1 1/2 oz. Gin
1/4 oz. Absinthe
Frappe in a highball glass.

Sunday, December 9: Porfidio Anejo

Tequila Sunday! Shake your butt! This is the closest I will come to a chocolate cocktail. It is black as my black Scroogeriffic heart, and strong, and strange.

Ashes to Ashes

1 1/2 oz. tequila
1/2 oz. Pedro Ximenez Sherry
1 oz. Lemon Juice
1 tsp. Sweetened Cocoa Mix
1/4 oz. Agave Nectar
1 pinch Ground Cinnamon
Place all ingredients in a mixing glass, fill with ice, cover and shake well for 10 seconds. Strain up into a cocktail glass. Garnish with cinnamon dust.

Monday December 10: Johnny Drum Green Label Bourbon

Monday is a good day to make like a Mad Man and drink a Manhattan .
sweet Vermouth
Take 1 part bourbon and 1 part sweet Vermouth; stir. Add a dash of bitters and ice. Shake and strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a cherry.

Tuesday, December 11: Roberto Cavalli Vodka

I read this thing about Cavalli and his family in W this past month, and the article sure made him seem like a tiny overtanned Italian id monster, a big granddaddy baby who buys his granddaughter marabou-trimmed plastic Barbie mules and demands everyone’s attention ALL THE TIME. A real Saturday night kind of guy. Look at him up there, with his models and his cigar. He’s like Christmas with a job. This recipe, needless to say, is from the vodka’s website. Note ALL CAPS. DRINK IN MY SPICY SUGARY OVERINDULGENCE, DARLING.

7.5 ml CAMPARI



Wednesday, December 12: Zwack Unicum Liqueur 80 Proof

We actually own a bottle of Zwack (it’s Hungarian!), and my husband invents all kinds of drinks to mix it into. His Zwackhattan was really nice. But then again, my husband also mixed Pastis with eggnog one afternoon, so I’ll give you a perfect Sunday recipe from the experts.

Bloody Hun
1 1/2 tablespoons Zwack
1/2 cup tomato juice
2 teaspoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
Tabasco sauce to taste
Worcestershire sauce to taste
1 teaspoon horseradish
Salt and pepper to taste
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

In a cocktail shaker, combine Zwack, tomato juice, lemon juice, Tabasco, Worcestershire, salt, pepper and one cup of ice cubes. Shake mixture vigorously then strain it into an ice cube filled glass rimmed in salt and lemon juice. Garnish with a carrot stick and serve.

Thursday, December 13: Lagavulin 16 year

It’s Thursday, drink a glass of Scotch. If you need to mix it (not the Lagavulin, you fool! Some other, crappier Scotch!), try Le Pere-Bis:

1½ parts Scotch
½ part St-Germain
1 bar spoon Honey
4 parts Hot Chamomile Tea
Add all ingredients to a Hot Toddy glass. Garnish with a clove-studded lemon wedge.

Friday, December 14: Sailor Jerry

I’ve never tried this Sailor Jerry rum. Looks a little gimmicky to me, named as it is after, and relentlessly identified with, “a prominent American tattoo artist”. (Please. I have four tattoos, good-sized ones, and even I wouldn’t call any tattoo artist ‘prominent’.) But that’s what the Advent season is for, is it not – to try new boozes. What’s that? This season has other connotations? Huh. I should look into that.

There’s a new book out about one of these old tattoo guys. Titled Secret Historian: The Life and Times of Samuel Steward, Professor, Tattoo Artist, and Sexual Renegade, we have it in the library, even though some of the photographs inside are pretty raunchy. My friend Mrs. Rabbit checked it out – she had read The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks and was on kind of a nonfiction kick. Her allergies were giving her hell and her nose was stopped up, so it was up to me to tell her that the book, even though it was brand-spankin new, reeked of cigarette smoke.

This drink, though, probably smells quite nice. And it’s so seasonal! I don’t know what’s come over me.

Apple-Ginger Jerry
1 ½ parts Sailor Jerry Rum
2 ½ parts apple juice
½ part fresh lime juice
ginger ale
Shake all but ginger ale and strain over fresh ice in a rocks glass. Top with ginger ale and garnish with an apple slice and cinnamon stick.


3 thoughts on “Advil Calendar, Week 2

  1. My mom is a librarian (well, was, before she retired) and my husband’s mom is a librarian. They’re both funny as hell. And have you ever been to a librarian conference? Maybe not, not being a librarian. I haven’t seen people party that hard since I had those friends with the room with the false back to hide underage drinkers in when the cops would get called to their parties.


  2. bc says:

    Wow, you got born into a fabulous family. Going to cons as a youth. Can’t even imagine how different I’d be if …. oh hell, nevermind. Nice to see that you soaked all that in. 🙂
    At any rate, does your mom write funny stuff? My two standouts are Paula, Your Neighborhood Librarian on blogspot, and SJ, of I, Asshole fame. She kills me. They both do. If you have 10 minutes, go over and read anything SJ ever wrote, or go read the Mamma Mia post on YNL’s site. Good stuff. Like yours.


  3. Isn’t that how we “met”? In the comments on SJ’s blog? I’ve been reading her for-freaking-ever, and it’s a good thing she lives so far away because I would have quite the girlcrush on her. I will check out the other one, though!

    My mom is funny, and biting, but usually she only comments on my blog, or on my facebook posts.


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