Mullet Drive-By

I was driving to work the other day and saw this on the corner. The damned light changed while I was trying to get the camera up and ready, so the the shot isn’t very good, but still… I was there. I saw it. I (sort of) recorded it for posterity.
It’s the Uber Mullet. Very long and immaculately groomed. Nicely dressed. All in all, one weird package.

Y.C. Mullet Watching

Mullet Haiku

Well, I’ve been trying to quit, don’t ya know, but couldn’t resist the call of the mullet. Call me a mulletard.

That reminds me, one of the blogs I’ve been reading is by a woman who calls people she doesn’t like Fucktards.

I like it. A lot!
It’s so descriptive. By golly, you never have to wonder where she stands on anything.

And now, freshly lifted from BeerChurch archives ….
It’s Mullet Haiku!

Empty Stroh’s beer cans
Oxycontin on the brain
Wonders why no job

Tug on the mullet
Cousin’s thumb is in my bum
Honeymoon heaven

mulletard (see, I stole this)


Afternoon at home
Jerry Springer show inspires
Viewers, guests the same
Chet had several good ones in there, he is no doubt frittering his talent away on silly time-wasting things like mullet Haiku.
What? Me? Shaddup.


i have to study
but the mullet compels me
to write more haikus

david a
[this one is totally in the spirit, don’t you think?]
Bitchin’ Camaro <——– that's me
Foghat on Blaupunkt Speakers
Cops Snatched My Sweet-Leaf

Freddy (NotFer)Proffit

Shoot those bowling pins!
Anything for a good time
Fish with T-N-T


Hair gel too costly
My mother has a mullet
Therapy? You bet!

Mullet head poet
Bikini, lawn chair web marks
Six-pack for dinner

katie sue
My car cost more
Than my home on wheels
Heh, beat that, man!
Pink Bird Freak

More mullet haiku

Also lifted from beerchurch. I am doing the cleanup work for you — there are some bad things in those archives. Also gems like the ones below, but… Blech. Some people are nuts. And remarkably stupid.

Here’s the Pro Mullet side of the coin.

Dude that’s a hair cape
Not so my man, it’s a schlong
Either way — neck’s warm

Mullet dark like night
Blood of the conquistadors!
Yo soy El Jefe

CCR pumping
5.0 under the hood
Wal-Mart with RayDean

Rolled it seven times
Check my old trach scar
Bone yard let me keep the rims

Sand spurs and tall grass
Barefoot children drink Kool Aid
Dorals and Old Mill

PBR on tap
Mullet lit up in neon light
Come and get it, girl!

Mullet finds true love
You sure got a pretty mouth
Hold still, it won’t hurt

Standing on the shore
His gaze affixed to water
Catfish fill his mind

Jesus it’s hot out
The sanctuary is cool
First Church of Wal-Mart

Mullet Haiku Favorites

Oh Brother Squirrel
We are one – your tail, my hair
Now I must eat you.

Sitting on toilet
Pellet gun propped on the sill
Mullet multitask

And, for the 4th of July …..

Short, for such is life
Long, for freedom has no bounds
American way.
———– and some new ones:

Shadows of pine trees
Scraping the trailer’s shadow
Mullet in morning

Wind off the truck hood
Nuh’thin blows me like she done
Hurricane RaeDean

Truck parts in the tub
Shut up, you worthless dang dog!
Fix me a pot pie.

Pops a Meister Brau
Adjust the damn rabbit ears
Free hand goes in shorts

I am sitting here
Just watching the nascar show
Ooo, there goes some beer

Denim rebel yell
Carry on my wayward son!
Care for a Bud Light?

More mullet haiku

Apparently we’re not so tired of mullet haiku or other kinds, either. Mair and I wrote email comments back and forth yesterday in the form of haiku.
It’s a gift.

Here’s some more mullet haiku from beerchurch or whatever the hell it was:

Hairdo says something
Only the best for me, friend
Another Schmidt, please

Her new cuttin shears
Mama ain’t cut hair before
A knack for mullets

Alabama air
Beer and smokes, passenger side
Wife and kids, back seat

Brother went to war
I bought an old camaro
We live for freedom!

Daring styled mane
With darkly tinted glasses
NO ONE stops me now!

Thursday night mullet bashing

These are all from someone named …
Johnny Bravo.
Too perfect.

I ain’t no redneck
Check it out…there’s hair back there
And it looks damn good

Coolest of the Cool
Don’t hear no-one say diff’rent
‘Cause I ain’t lis’nin’

Hair styles come and go
Mine is a timeless classic
I ain’t no redneck

More mullet haiku

Loud cars all turn left
Beer, exhaust, checkered flag dream
God I love NASCAR


Nice pants, ya faggot
A pot calls the kettle black
Denies own desires


Middle o’ nowhere
Wal-mart peeps with the mad hair
I run to west coast


Call it a mullet
The Suffolk County Side Swipe
It’s a way of life

Monday Morning Mullet Haiku

Brown glass hits mail box
Green glass, cans, hit traffic sign
Mullet recycles

Re: Michael Bolton
Mullet Club Status: Revoked
And, yet, songs still blow.

Tapped on the shoulder
“‘Scuse me, ma’am. This seat taken?”
I whirl ’round, man screams

Mohawks bleedin’ rule!
Antisocial spikes which — huh?
Sorry, wrong web site.