So, this is the funniest comment thread I’ve ever seen. From Gawker. I copied and pasted just so I could read it forever.
It’s a Food Product, Essentially’: Fox News Starts Spinning Pepper Spray Cops
Tonight, Fox News hosts Bill O’Reilly and Megyn Kelly got to talking about a UC Davis police officer’s appalling use of pepper spray on nonviolent protesters over the weekend. Guess what direction the conversation took!
If you guessed “needlessly deferential to authority and dismissive to the suffering of protesters,” you guessed correctly!
“I don’t think we have the right to Monday-morning quarterback the police,” O’Reilly says, “particularly at a place like UC Davis, which is a fairly liberal campus.” God forbid! We’d never want to question Lt. John Pike’s decision to generously and indifferently dust peacefully sitting protesters with pepper spray from only a few feet away. Especially given that Davis is, you know, a liberal campus! And, gosh, even if we were going to Monday-morning quarterback the police, shouldn’t we remember, as Megyn Kelly tells O’Reilly, that pepper spray is “a food product, essentially”?
Now, look, Kelly and O’Reilly aren’t saying the cops did the right thing! God, no! “I agree [the tape] looks bad,” Kelly says. It’s just that the protesters were sitting in a place where they weren’t allowed to sit, so it’s kind of their own fault! And in any event what right do we have to judge a cop for spraying a simple food product on the faces of a bunch of liberal college kids doing something criminal? You know? Maybe he was just trying to feed them?
Megyn Kelly on police dogs: “It’s a family pet, essentially!”
Megyn Kelly on tasers: “It’s static cling, essentially!”
Megyn Kelly on rubber bullets: “It’s a pencil eraser, essentially!”
Megyn Kelly on hand grenades: “It’s a Fourth of July firework, essentially! God bless America.”
Megyn Kelly on flashbangs: “It’s like a surprise party, essentially!”
Megyn Kelly on sleep deprivation: “It’s like a cup o’ Joe, essentially!”
Megyn Kelly on stress positions: “It’s like yoga, essentially!”
Megyn Kelly on mock executions: “It’s like make-believe, essentially!”
Megyn Kelly on nuclear weapons: “It’s a microwave dinner, essentially!”
Megyn Kelly on sound weapons: “It’s a boom box, essentially!”
Megyn Kelly on Molotov cocktails: “It’s a flirtini, essentially!”
Megyn Kelly on handguns: “It’s a slingshot, essentially!”
ordering the protestors to disperse WITHING THEIR LEGAL AUTHORITY! and the
protestors were PASSIVELY RESISTING! 2 the chancellor wanted the police to
remove the protestors! that means the protestors were trespassing – BTW this
means that the protestors were breaking the law! 3 a law enforcement officer is
allowed to use a reasonable amount force to affect an arrest! 4 a law
enforcement officer is not only expected to, but TAUGHT to use one step above
the level of resistance on the use of force scale in order to overcome
resistance. 5 chemical munitions are not considered inherently dangerous and
they ARE made from chilli peppers, specifically the pepper oil that makes them
hot called Oleoresin Capsicum! and yes it is in it’s concentrated form. 6
Excessive force in this situation would have been if the police used force that
causes or could cause great bodily harm to the protestors. IE beating
them with clubs or sticks or using rubber bullets on passively resistant
protestors would be an excessive use of force. – they did not do that they used
pepper spray to entice the protestors to disperse on their own (by seeking out a
way to wash the spray out of their eyes) 7 if you had a drunk shouting at you
on your front lawn you would expect the police to arrest said drunk. and if he
was passively resistant he could be pepper sprayed too. The only difference is
the drunk is drunk and the protestors are protesting. they are both
trespassing. 8 if you want to be mad at someone be mad at the chancellor not
the police. the police were doing their jobs. The chancellor was not.
Megyn Kelly on slavery: “It’s the ideal ownership society, essentially!”
Megyn Kelly on atrocious and unnecessary spellings of first names: “It’s the most Anglo-Saxony-looking way, essentially!”
Shortest version possible: the Constitutional right to peaceful protest assembly is not trumped by local yokel nuisance-because-they-disagree-with-me laws.
Megyn Kelly on Fox News: “It’s entertainment, essentially!” Oh, wait a minute….
“…in light of Saucier v. Katz, 533 U.S. 194, 121 S.Ct. 2151, 150 L.Ed.2d 272 (2001), in which the Supreme Court describes the way in which to proceed when state officials assert qualified immunity in a § 1983 excessive force action. Having reviewed the facts and circumstances of this case in light of Saucier, this panel reaffirms its conclusion that Lewis and Philip are not entitled to qualified immunity.
4. They were nonviolent protesters. What is one level above “just sitting there on the ground, passively waiting to be arrested”? Apparently, it is, “getting sprayed in the face with weapons-grade pepper spray.” Good to know.
According to some people who were there, several people had already been peeled off the line and cuffed when Officer Pike ordered them to stop because he was going to spray them. In other words, the arrest could have, and indeed WAS being effected without the use of pepper spray. Therefore, the pepper spray was gratuitous.
Do you understand that the students WANTED to be arrested? They felt that it was unfair that so few of them (3, IIRC) had been arrested for something they all participated in, and formed the line specifically to induce the officer to arrest them. The students want to be arrested. The cops want to arrest them. Where in this does the continuum of force even come in?
7. If a drunk was peacefully resisting on my lawn, I would not expect the cops to pepper spray him, because you don’t need to use violence to arrest peaceful protesters. They just lay there and you cuff them and carry them off. THAT’S THE DEFINITION OF NON-VIOLENT PROTEST.
This thread is 100% win! Latecomer additions…Megyn Kelly on GOP Presidential debates: ” So it’s reality TV, essentially”
Megyn Kelly on skydiving accidents: “So it’s like regular skydiving, but faster, essentially”
Megyn Kelly on rape babies: “So they’re like regular babies, just more surprising, essentially”
Megyn Kelly on Bill O’Reilly: “So he’s Glen Beck, essentially”