Once again, hats off to Your Neighborhood Librarian for this very fine Advil calendar.
Also, why is it that every single librarian I know is such a fun writer? I must have missed something about librarians (probably a lot, really) back in school. My stepson wanted to be a librarian, but I think the tedium of the old-style searching and foot-noting is killing his desire. Now I wonder if he’s secretly funny and I haven’t been paying attention. Good God.
Saturday, December 8: La Fée Parisienne Absinthe
Welcome to Strange Drink Saturday! And what’s weirder than absinthe, aka the green fairy, the least palatable liquor I know?
3 parts chartreuse
3 parts absinthe
1 part green curacao
Build in highball glass. Stir and fill up with ice cold milk. Marvel at its creepy cloudiness, then throw it out and make…
1 1/2 oz. Gin
1/4 oz. Absinthe
Frappe in a highball glass.
Sunday, December 9: Porfidio Anejo
Tequila Sunday! Shake your butt! This is the closest I will come to a chocolate cocktail. It is black as my black Scroogeriffic heart, and strong, and strange.
Ashes to Ashes
1 1/2 oz. tequila
1/2 oz. Pedro Ximenez Sherry
1 oz. Lemon Juice
1 tsp. Sweetened Cocoa Mix
1/4 oz. Agave Nectar
1 pinch Ground Cinnamon
Place all ingredients in a mixing glass, fill with ice, cover and shake well for 10 seconds. Strain up into a cocktail glass. Garnish with cinnamon dust.
Monday December 10: Johnny Drum Green Label Bourbon
Monday is a good day to make like a Mad Man and drink a Manhattan .
Take 1 part bourbon and 1 part sweet Vermouth; stir. Add a dash of bitters and ice. Shake and strain into a cocktail glass. Garnish with a cherry.
Tuesday, December 11: Roberto Cavalli Vodka
I read this thing about Cavalli and his family in W this past month, and the article sure made him seem like a tiny overtanned Italian id monster, a big granddaddy baby who buys his granddaughter marabou-trimmed plastic Barbie mules and demands everyone’s attention ALL THE TIME. A real Saturday night kind of guy. Look at him up there, with his models and his cigar. He’s like Christmas with a job. This recipe, needless to say, is from the vodka’s website. Note ALL CAPS. DRINK IN MY SPICY SUGARY OVERINDULGENCE, DARLING.
50 ml ROBERTO CAVALLI VODKA
7.5 ml CAMPARI
6-8 FRESH RASPBERRIES
5 ml VANILLA SUGAR FLAVORED WITH CHILI PEPPER
1 SPLASH OF GRAND MARNIER FLAMBE
Wednesday, December 12: Zwack Unicum Liqueur 80 Proof
We actually own a bottle of Zwack (it’s Hungarian!), and my husband invents all kinds of drinks to mix it into. His Zwackhattan was really nice. But then again, my husband also mixed Pastis with eggnog one afternoon, so I’ll give you a perfect Sunday recipe from the experts.
1 1/2 tablespoons Zwack
1/2 cup tomato juice
2 teaspoons freshly squeezed lemon juice
Tabasco sauce to taste
Worcestershire sauce to taste
1 teaspoon horseradish
Salt and pepper to taste
Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste
In a cocktail shaker, combine Zwack, tomato juice, lemon juice, Tabasco, Worcestershire, salt, pepper and one cup of ice cubes. Shake mixture vigorously then strain it into an ice cube filled glass rimmed in salt and lemon juice. Garnish with a carrot stick and serve.
Thursday, December 13: Lagavulin 16 year
It’s Thursday, drink a glass of Scotch. If you need to mix it (not the Lagavulin, you fool! Some other, crappier Scotch!), try Le Pere-Bis:
1½ parts Scotch
½ part St-Germain
1 bar spoon Honey
4 parts Hot Chamomile Tea
Add all ingredients to a Hot Toddy glass. Garnish with a clove-studded lemon wedge.
Friday, December 14: Sailor Jerry
I’ve never tried this Sailor Jerry rum. Looks a little gimmicky to me, named as it is after, and relentlessly identified with, “a prominent American tattoo artist”. (Please. I have four tattoos, good-sized ones, and even I wouldn’t call any tattoo artist ‘prominent’.) But that’s what the Advent season is for, is it not – to try new boozes. What’s that? This season has other connotations? Huh. I should look into that.
There’s a new book out about one of these old tattoo guys. Titled Secret Historian: The Life and Times of Samuel Steward, Professor, Tattoo Artist, and Sexual Renegade, we have it in the library, even though some of the photographs inside are pretty raunchy. My friend Mrs. Rabbit checked it out – she had read The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks and was on kind of a nonfiction kick. Her allergies were giving her hell and her nose was stopped up, so it was up to me to tell her that the book, even though it was brand-spankin new, reeked of cigarette smoke.
This drink, though, probably smells quite nice. And it’s so seasonal! I don’t know what’s come over me.
1 ½ parts Sailor Jerry Rum
2 ½ parts apple juice
½ part fresh lime juice
Shake all but ginger ale and strain over fresh ice in a rocks glass. Top with ginger ale and garnish with an apple slice and cinnamon stick.
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