* Mary’s Guide to the New Illiteracy: ESL Patrol

Mary is a supervisor in a place where numerous new immigrants work. She communicates with them frequently via e-mail. One of the great workplace entertainments is reading and sharing the slaughtered English contained in these e-mails. Sometimes it’s easy to figure out the meaning – sometimes it’s not. This is not done in a mean spirited way, people kid each other about it. What’s really entertaining is that Mary and her Box and several other people adopt the strange phrases and use them in their daily e-mailings, thereby themselves becoming more obtuse and illiterate as the days go by. These are also referred to as “Patty-isms” by the locals. :: Later that same day: Mair’s Box read this and said, “I can’t breathe! Call 991!” Yes, Call 991 would be another Patty-ism. We’ll keep you post and update as these trickle in. I’ve decide to put the newest ones on top. See? Illiterate already -it’s working!

  •  [Poor Tran, he sounds so beleaguered ]……     Could you please working with Eva what is wrong with this 2nd TOP,WHY back and forth so many times? or what wrong about her?your guys make too much headache for me only 1 TOP of style above. Thanks.
  • Let we know – this might be a lot like “keep me post” but possibly less imperative and more time-critical. The original context was, “Please let we know what wrong about these jacket, and how to fix it? I’m need Nhu and you has to repair them for return to finishingA.S.A.P. Nhu: please working with Eva and repair these jackets.”
  • I’m already has maintenances makes 5 shells on floor. Mair sez shells are shelves, so I believe Tran is letting the Box know that he has instructed the maintenance crew to build 5 new shelves on the floor.
  • FLY – we’re pretty sure it means FYI
  • Keep Good Work On — Keep up the good work
  • Keep me post – or anything that should end in -ed but doesn’t
  • Box – what you call your supervisor. For example, “I need a break, is the Box watching?”
  • .. that sound is greenshanks — we don’t know exactly what Tran was shooting for here, but it means good. Great shakes? That sounds great? Hard to say, exactly.

I have a confession to make. While this is entertaining on a lot of levels, I rather admire these people for swinging so hard at this new language. Gawd, was that a baseball analogy?

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