Lor – #6 is just for  you

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December 20, 2010

The Top 18 Signs It’s Going to Be a Brutal Winter

18> Joe Biden just had polar fleece hair plugs installed.

17> PETA okays the use of fur “just this once.”

16> Victoria’s Secret comes out with a line of nipple muffs.

15> You receive a pamphlet from the newly formed “Polar Bears
for Global Warming” group.

14> Your local grocery store is stocking only sardines and ammo.

13> Your kids built a snowman so tall, terrorists just flew a
plane into it.

12> Khloe Kardashian has grown an especially thick winter coat.

11> You’ve leased Michelle Duggar’s bun-oven to heat your house
until March.

10> Those blue decorations in the Duggars’ front lawn look a lot
like their youngest kids.

9> A smirking Willard Scott just compared it to Christine
O’Donnell’s breasts.

8> Ed Begley, Jr. just traded in his Prius on a Zamboni.

7> Your digital thermometer readout: “OMFG!!”

6> CNN shows Sarah Palin hunting moose in your hometown —
Gainsville, FLA.

5> Britney Spears spotted shopping for panties.

4> Local TV weatherman demonstrates how to slit open the belly
of a tauntaun for warmth.

3> Taking a cue from Lady Gaga, Al Roker debuts his walrus-fat
suit.

2> TMZ reports that Jennifer Aniston’s erect nipples got caught
in a revolving door and Scarlett Johansson stabbed two people
to death through her holiday sweater.

and Topfive.com’s Number 1 Sign
It’s Going to Be a Brutal Winter…

1> Times Square New Year’s Eve celebrations have been canceled
as the 2011 ball has retracted irretrievably into its scrotum.

[ Copyright 2010 by Chris White/TopFive.com ]