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April 23, 2008

NOTE FROM CHRIS:

Think TopFive can’t be classy?
We’ve got *poetry* for you today!

The Top 25 Election 2008 Haikus

25> Evil Viet Cong
And their horrid torture camps?
No match for this crap!

24> Dennis Kucinich
Said he saw UFOs, then
Disappeared in one.

23> The time has long past.
The fat lady sings to thee,
Huckabee, go home!

22> Hillary’s *so* tired.
Pranksters won’t stop calling her
Right at 3 a.m.

21> John McCain am I.
So strong, can crush you like bug.
Do not look at me!

20> Who wants the lesser
Of three evils? Bill Bradley,
Won’t you please come home?

19> John McCain makes speech:
“My fellow Americans,
Get off my damn lawn!”

18> Barack, be like Bill.
He *does* love America —
One chick at a time.

17> Ron Paul is still in.
Waiting for the mothership?
Reality check!

16> Hillary Clinton’s
Inevitability
Fades like Mets in fall.

15> Just say what you mean!
Don’t start every speech with
“What I meant to say…”

14> John McClain? “Die Hard”?
Hey, Iran: Yippie-kay-yay,
You evil mofos!

13> Hillary Clinton
Fighting Barack Obama?
You two get a room!

12> GOP to Dems:
Good luck choosing nominee.
Wake us in August.

11> Hillary was the
Odds-on favorite to win —
Like the Patriots.

10> Many candidates,
All of them equally bad.
Write in for Chris White!

9> Pennsylvanians
Can indeed be quite bitter —
Like Reverend Wright.

8> When will it be safe
To watch my TV again?
I’m sick of this crap.

7> Who won’t die, but comes
Once again to eat our brains?
Zombie Ralph Nader!

6> Hi. I’m John McCain.
Some say I’m too old to run.
Hi. I’m John McCain…

5> Bosnian snipers
Over a decade later
Shoot holes in Clinton.

4> Forget the war and
Economy plummeting —
Where’s his damn flag pin?!?

3> I’m watching Fox News.
Apparently, the sun shines
Out of McCain’s ass.

2> 3 a.m. phone call
Hillary answers, first ring
It’s Trixi, for Bill.

and Topfive.com’s Number 1 Election 2008 Haiku…

1> Hypnotizing me,
Winning my heart and my vote:
Obama Girl’s boobs.

[ Copyright 2008 by Chris White/TopFive.com ]