News in Brief

–==++   TopFive’s News Headlines   ++==–

Pentagon Orders 10,000 School-Crossing Guards to Iraq

ASPCA Investigates Hillary for Beating Dead Horse

Self-Immolators Switch From High Price Gasoline to Lighter Fluid

Vatican Reveals New Papal Hat With 46% More Point

Iraqi Sunnis Decry Shia LaBeouf

Credits: Jerry L. Embry (1), Dave Henry (2), Davejames (3,4),
Mark Neibuhr (5)

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