I wonder, are people really using this yet? I started using snail mail a looooooong time ago. But I hadn’t heard “tree-book” until today.
March 30: tree-book
A book printed on dead trees, i.e. paper, as opposed to an e-book, which only exists electronically. Compare with snail mail.
Thomas: Hey, how do you like your new Kindle?
Andrew: I don’t know, I haven’t used it yet. I’m still trying to finish all the tree-books I’m reading.
February 19: Olympic Narcolepsy
The sensation you get that you will abruptly fall asleep at any moment during the day due to trying to watch as much of the Olympics as you can the night prior, causing you to stay up way too late. A seasonal disorder, occuring in winter or summer only, and is of brief duration (around 2 weeks), and usually occurs in even numbered years. VCR, TiVO or other recording device is the only known remedy.
Jim: “Boy, look at John. He is drooling all over his spreadsheets and computer and he even had 3 cups of coffee. What do you think is wrong with him?”
Jane: “I don’t know, but I think he may have Olympic Narcolepsy trying to see the Jamaican bobsled team medal. It was the last event last night.”
February 10: Redneck Teleprompter
Crib notes written on a public speaker’s hand in order to remind him or her what to say during a speech or interview.
Sarah Palin glanced at her redneck teleprompter during her interview a the Tea Party Conference in Nashville.
January 11: mid-day crisis
when one is in a desperate need for a siesta because they become extremely tired in the afternoon and coffee isn’t cutting it any longer.
“working at panera sucked today after that wild night of drinking. i had the worst mid-day crisis ever.”
Man, I have these all the time. Not from drinking. It’s from old age, I reckon. I’ve turned into my Grandmother and I need a little “lie-down” to “rest my eyes” in the afternoon. Her words. I remember she used to curl up on an old lumpy horsehair-filled couch. She liked the lumps, she curled around them and they fit her.
As a frequent flyer in the Insomniacs club, I try NOT to nap during the day but I’m afraid it’s becoming a losing battle .
January 8: Nearsighted Date
As opposed to a blind date, where you have no idea what the other person looks like, a nearsighted date is one where you’ve seen a photo or chatted via web cam before meeting in person.
This can often lead to disappointment if one person or the other has supplied misleading documentation.
“Well, I saw her profile pics on Facebook, so it was more of a nearsighted date than a blind date”
“Went on a nearsighted date last night. The picture he emailed me must have been from before he quit the gym.”
“That’s the last nearsighted date I ever go on…her profile pic must have been 5 years, 3 hair colors and 2 kids ago.”
Good lord, these people are shallow.